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Backwards in Time | Forwards in Time

7 Deadly Sins - Kiss of Gratitude: Envy

Title: Kiss of Gratitude
Fandom: Doctor Who
Pairing: The Doctor/Martha Jones
Prompt: # 05 - Envy
Word Count: 760
Rating: PG-13
Summary: He sees her kiss Riley, a complete stranger, thanking him in her own little way for being there when things looked hopeless… and he can’t help but wish it’s him she’s thanking.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Doctor Who. Thank RTD and the BBC.
Author's Notes: No 5 in my 7 Deadly Sins Series. Spoilers for ‘Smith and Jones’ and ‘42’. This one ain’t much – It’s more of an introspective drabble, than anything else…

OoOoOoOoOoO

Kiss of Gratitude

It’s all over.

At the cost of nye on an entire crew, the Sun’s rage is quelled and the S.S. Pentallian is stationary a safe distance away, no longer hurtling towards burning oblivion. And there are but two crew members left to make sure she remains that way.

Inclining his head to Scannell and Riley, he strokes the TARDIS affectionately for a moment, before vanishing inside without so much as a backward glance. Martha stays behind for a few moments, just as he’d known she would.

But he doesn’t need to watch them to know why she’d want to.

His smile slips away as he stops beside the Console, hands in his pockets as he gazes up at the Rotor without seeing it. The TARDIS hums and creaks around him, but he pays her no attention, distracted as he is by his keen senses.

They’re talking, he can tell without listening.

He can’t make out specific words, but the feeling he gets from the whispers he can unintentionally hear suggest a sense of… a sense of belief. They believe in each other…

Yes, Martha is surprised by that. He senses her delight at Riley’s belief in her, senses her pride for the crewman who she almost lost her life alongside as he finally admits to finding someone he can place his faith in…

As Martha thanks Riley before the two of them are forced to part forever, as he sees them in his mind’s eye smiling, and laughing, and kissing, he has to wonder just why he can’t feel pity for them. Why he doesn’t feel bad about separating them.

He tells himself it’s because Riley’s late crew members were responsible for the days’ unfortunate events - that they brought the near-disaster upon themselves, and that because Riley worked for them, he would have to share that guilt.

But that isn’t the real reason.

No, in reality, he envies the connection Martha and Riley have somehow discovered in the space of 42 minutes. 42 minutes!

A connection strong enough to warrant a parting kiss, it seems.

He understands.

That kiss is a kiss of gratitude. They almost died together in that escape pod, and emotions would have been high. He gets the feeling that Riley’s hopelessness had only been overcome by Martha’s refusal to give up hope. She must have helped him see reason. It was inevitable that they’d find some sort of connection during such a traumatic event.

And yet he can’t help but envy Riley’s power over her.

He wishes, as they part with a grin, Martha beaming at Riley as she stumbles backwards into the TARDIS, that it is him she is thanking for saving her life, that it is him she has saved a kiss of gratitude for…

But that is absurd… isn’t it?

He doesn’t want to feel like that, not again. Not after the last time.

Martha’s talking to him, but he doesn’t hear a word of it. Instead, he continues to stare resolutely at the Rotor, thoughts racing and emotions barely just beneath that level of unnatural control.

She kissed him…

She kissed Riley, a complete stranger…

Just like he kissed her back when they first met… He was a total stranger then, too. Up on the moon, running from space-police and hunting down a blood-thirsty cousin of the vampires… she kissed a stranger…

And he can’t deny that he loved it, even if the thrill only lasted seconds.

No, it isn’t fair of him to think like this. Riley was her friend, his friend. He helped them save the ship, helped them save the Sun, helped the Doctor keep Martha safe and sane when luck wasn’t on their side. No, he shouldn’t envy Riley, he should be thanking him!

All Martha gave him was a kiss, because that is her way of saying thank you.

Now, it’s his turn to say thank you to her.

Finally acknowledging her, forcing himself back into the moment and ridding his mind of thoughts he didn’t want to think about, he passes her the TARDIS key. Unbeknownst to Martha, he’s giving her a little part of his heart at the same time.

And though he won’t voice such thoughts aloud, he silently hopes that he need not envy Riley for taking Martha’s heart before he could share one of his own with her… And then turns to wondering if there would be coming an opportunity, sometime soon, when she might display her thanks upon him in the way that only Martha can thank somebody.

OoOoOoOoOoO


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Comments

( 1 comment — Comments are Love )
uhurafan
16th Feb, 2011 03:54 (UTC)
I truly hope you will continue this one day. I am loving the concept. Very well written!
( 1 comment — Comments are Love )

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